You and I are born with two teachers.
The first one is punishing and you never
want to take a direct lesson from this teacher
because it will probably be your last lesson.
This teacher’s name is death.
The second teacher is gentle and subtle.
But if you don’t pay attention, you will likely
miss this teacher’s lesson.
This teacher’s name is life.
So for a very long time, I told myself that
I prefer to learn from life than death…
… which is why I have a daily practice.
Every night before I go to bed, I will reflect
upon my day and jot down lessons I have
They either come from my own experiences
(usually painful ones) or from the mouths of
very wise people whom I had the good
fortune to hang out with.
Looking at my notes right now, I have a
long list of lessons I learnt from June.
But I have taken the liberty to identify
my top three which I believe will help you
have a happier and more productive Q3.
1. You are NOT responsible for how
people feel, think and behave.
Yes you can influence but ultimately people
are fully responsible for how they feel, think
and behave so stop trying to put on this
unnecessary burden on yourself.
Set positive intention.
Be a good person.
Do what is right.
But that’s it.
Don’t try to control how people are going
to react to your words or actions.
Because their reactions are dependent
on their beliefs, moods and upbringing.
Instead, be responsible for your own
thoughts, emotions and actions.
Do this and you will feel liberated!
2. Fear of man is a snare.
This is a bible verse. But allow me to explain
in secular terms.
Fear of man = fear of man’s opinions
When you allow yourself to be worried or
overly conscious about what people think
about you, you unwittingly trapped yourself
in emotional turmoil.
How do you know if you are vulnerable to
people’s opinions of you?
Do compliments make you happy?
If yes, then unfortunately criticism will make
Because compliments and criticism is but
two sides of the same coin.
Accept one side and you accept the other.
So how do you wean off people’s opinions
Answer: Create a purpose that energises
you so much that you no longer live for
man’s acceptance and approval
Your purpose could be as simple as
giving your loved ones a good life.
Your purpose could also be as ambitious
as helping a large number of people
overcome a certain problem.
There is no right or wrong purpose as long
as you create one that energises you.
3. Imposter syndrome is not exactly
a bad thing!
Let it be on record that I do suffer
occasionally from imposter syndrome.
There are days when I feel like a fraud.
“This client is not going to pay you
that much money for a lousy speech”
“This piece of content you create sucks.
No one will find it valuable.”
“Why create this program? It is nothing
compared to what’s already in the market.”
On bad days, these thoughts can
paralyse me and kill my confidence.
But in my recent interview with Lin whom
I went to coach school with, she reminded
me that “imposter syndrome isn’t necessarily
a bad thing.
It just means that you are attempting to
live out your potentiality.
And your ‘old self’ is just trying to claw you
In other words, those negative voices you
hear in your head – they are from your
Each time, I get a negative thought that
makes me doubt myself, I will gently tell
that thought, “Hey.. relax. We will be fine.”
As Jesse J beautifully sang in her song
Masterpiece, we are simply work in progress,
masterpiece in the making!